OPP: Dirty Divorce Parents

January 19, 2016

Yi Slacker and Steve,
My parents got divorced when I was 12 and I'm 16 now. I live with my mom and her boyfriend and see my dad a couple times a month. My mom and her boyfriend are always talking bad about my dad in front of me. They say what a loser he is and mom talks about how she's so glad she got away from him. They always make a big deal about everything they pay for and tell me I'm lucky there around because my dad doesn't pay for anything. When I see my dad he tells me he wishes he could pay for more stuff and the only reason my mom can is because she's a gold digger and using her boyfriend for money. He talks really bad about her and calls her some pretty nasty names. It's really hard on me because I love both my parents and I feel like they want me to always say bad things about the other one. I'm really tired of it and I just want both of them to stop. What should I do?
How should she deal with being caught in the middle?
Slacker says that he feels really bad and that people who stay married for the kids are screwing the kids up because they’re doing this same thing but under one roof. He says that it’s not ever the kid’s place to fix what’s going on with her parents. He said that she’s only 16 and is going through things on her own, and shouldn’t have to deal with this as well. Slacker says that bottom line is she’s young and is being torn apart by this.
Steve jokes that she should punish both of them for what they’re doing to her and to play both of them and get stuff out of it. He says that he has a friend who would debrief the kid and ask what his ex-wife said every time it was his turn to have their daughter. He says that she should emancipate herself and get out of the home situation; they would realize what they did when they lose their daughter. Steve wonders if she should start leaving subtle hints around the house of what’s going on, like self-help books or something. 

-Intern Jorden