Slacker and Steve OPP: Daughter Called Nanny Mom 10/31

Monday, October 31st

Nick and his wife both have very hectic work schedules, and they have hired a nanny to be there when they can't be. One night over dinner his daughter called her nanny mommy and it made his wife very upset. She wants to fire the nanny so that her daughter doesn't get confused, but Nick thinks the nanny is just doing what she would do for her own kids. What advice would you give to Nick?
00:18:45

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Selector in Steve's son today. I'm still trying to find the downside. I I guess it okay to throw momma I guess that's a big deal. Which we got an data we've got somebody who's saying that there around. They're nannies don't went too far. Yeah I think guys. My wife and I have a nanny to look after our daughter we both have hectic schedules and sometimes a nanny has to put her daughter to bed before we can even make it home. Last week we were having dinner with our daughter and she said she likes it better when quote. Mommy amber makes dinner for her shouldn't so hard hit yeah stereo out this devastated my wife. My wife explained that she is mommy in Amber's an enemy. My daughter asks what made her mommy because amber knows a lot of the things that mommies do for their kids. Lol wow my wife didn't know how to respond without explaining how childbirth works. Now she feels threatened by amber and wants to fire her. She doesn't want our daughter to think that someone else's or mommy. I don't think it's a bad thing to me it means that the numbers looking after our daughter the way we get the way she would look after her own kids. Conway talked to my wife off this ledge. This is from nick. So you everytime you you hear this. Are you one knicks item in do you think it's a good thing yeah. Because the point of a nanny is you always said this on the show before soccer that. No one has ever gonna love your kids the way the parents are the way ever hates you hold us to find a caregiver. Now they can do that but you never going to. What sells like. Mitch and his wife one of the lucky ones that sound a nanny. That probably loves her kids. Well I think. The scary part for Nick's wife says. Not so much that the nanny loves her kids. It's that her kids to love but dozens of candidates which you hope for too right. Paris don't think you do because I think what the kid delight and any light. Not love seat can't help who you love. Specifically if he tanks like one of the things I think what's probably happening I feel this. And I'm not even in the mom. I think a lot of moms feel guilty that they have to go to work right so they're they're leaving their kid and he just wants someone. To keep their kid a life oh not teach him stuff for educators throw stuff at us. That's what he'll do well we sure do right okay yes you want to me teaching staff but you don't want them to replace you. Yeah and don't get a job. Tribes are going to be out. Oh. That's the terrible thing it is when you try and when people tell you have to do would all you have to be this yet to be this and yet to be that so he's got media. I wonder if what Nick's wife arm. I think. I'm just wondering nest. Is this kid. Calling amber and any. Mommy amber. When their interacting and if that's happening and it's a problem. It that's inappropriate itself. Real quick a member of your son there to meet f.'s first assimilate that young kid staying were there to get confused yes Sunni Selig called dad and mom because dad does mommy thing you know that type of saying that anyone that gets him a glass of water you'll must be my model. Hi this I think they start to equate caregiver with money so he's I was parental angst mummy makes they anybody's doing something nice lemon suddenly like a parent yet here. And a bit and at first I thought that none of unknowns is beyond that. I would say this if if amber is if amber is having his girl call her mommy amber who or not having her but if he she allows and does it make. Put the hammer down and go and and and and now. Just Communists amber. Think she needs to shut that down that's true if she already has shut it down but this little girl sometimes you just can't help the way your your kids think about things he. Any if she wants a caller mommy mommy amber. Meaning yell under the shortest punishing her for calling this woman mommy amber out night in south it. So real quick so amber is a carrier risen nearly. That's kind of a natural thing if the kid calls certain bucks you dip in the but if you Alicia yes so let's assume that she'd. I want to assume that she did or or the girls never called that tour face is that grounds I don't know may need the world the nannies is that grounds for termination if so many didn't nip that in the bud. Depends on your asking them when I say this the because you said you are thinking about this whole situation in a Linear logical way because you're a man and you don't have children I don't understand this culture yet so as you sit here and look at it who live near Lee. You you are going she's doing a great job you should never fire somebody who's doing a great shots. But among are is looking at are going. She's doing too good of a job she's trying to horn in in my world I gotta get these woman she's got some threats. And I ask general ways from me like she's not looking there is a good employee she's looking she's stalinists are just acting amber to sleep with a spent. She's freaking out of this woman's doing too good of a job so this couple this month's finally found the I know is how. Posey illogical but it's got out she found somebody who aren't getting close okay so to a mum when it comes time to find a nanny or baby sitter. You've got to find out that there are good at they're job absolutely but they're not good enough to be confused okay this is so weak that sounds really Yankee but that's actually the way I kinda think I. I'm not trying to be a jerk but I think to most moms. Don't want somebody perfect. So was knicks who were who have where's nick Jeff Nelson niche. Knicks got somebody who is daughter in ninety if you fired the senior note it's gonna tear this little girl or a park okay. In my opinion and you slowly who uses nannies yeah what's my wife went back to work. In its H. They end up getting a better job you know they're too that you tend to use people who are big in the education system and they're trying to follow whatever and it also needed to air in their first teaching job and move on. In ninety another one and I. I'm telling you even if you are there or if there with you for a year get richer kids heart Alka to have them go away so either second mommy is gone. Yes now I know that sounds more and I am here are proud of my wife from actually being. Cool with the fact that my daughter imprints on these people hardcore. Wild. Like my daughter's texting. Nannies like right now just she's trying to soccer what I don't get the fire Mo Mary. Dealer room she's got her iPad and I'm like what are you doing she's like come on texting mainly. Geez I can't I just takes it would make I can name off an Indy which means Laura. Output to different nannies in your kids still seen since early rental massively. Almighty god salute you found the perfect many here. Nick in your wife wants them to fire her because she's too good murdered job because the little girl is blurring the line OK so how do we help mic because clearly I don't that's what I don't that's where people who know how to clear these lines up organized help I don't know how you cleared up. Because she's doing a great job in so it's like hiring an employee and you're like going to sell houses and any turnaround awesome they saw four outside. And he says yes. You to let that make nick has to go Intel is nanny back down but how are you backing down you're doing the right thing. He's an ex wife to sit down with with the nanny and go hey I've got this little problems and he's calling you mom everywhere it is anymore and so paddy. It's completely enters your that's your the employer you are. And there's a problem you gotta sit this audio media being mean two or three times a day and Juanita how do you want to get her to stop their domain that proves nick is right it does. Logically yes people are not talking about logic because we we gonna help nick talk. His wife awfully he's he said it Neil BP got to talk her alleged were not firing the network I hope or not you guys get to decide should he fired a nanny. Should they fired a nanny or shared these his wife again over its Daniel. And I what do you think. The motto would get the job but Miranda wouldn't be able there won't detainees and I don't what do you mean by her jobs. Below. So women notice and we say yeah we literal world where there's sometimes a need for two incomes. Yeah. And you wanna I wanna go home. Do you don't believe it. Your saying maybe she's a figure now. And so she can be I hope I'm gonna I'm gonna jump in and say something new usually infuriates you but I think you're going to be. On board with this why would send our she needs to mama yeah. But that was slot. Dave I mean I don't ever Steve know he wanted to say everything did the words it's a center right now this. Wow annual gala at allied with not people of human being the mother. And it got me an update you with a little less so I mean they have to deal with it that's something different. Then it's a bit she has just don't let them that the man is doing a better job at being a mother eventually yes. Daniel are you saying there should be the way in every household uses are you. So you're saying that you sound a little fashion via. I don't know fashion but amid good they're good at running. And when you become a parent you are obligated to take care of each other and how that might be and that means a lot of instant problem wit what whichever one it. The mom and dad. See this then let them and somebody that you don't presidential did you don't get climate out. Mandates you for the guard Daniel appreciate it half. So lean is up next. I yeah I mean you. Okay I'm a mom I have kids and I think that this mom has seven gel because she chose a career over being home with her kids. You know end. First stop. She needs to decide it wants to be got mom as she did anything get up career and be home with her daughter got mom otherwise she needs a couple of made her own personal feelings of jealousy because additionally a lot of her daughter. You all want her daughter to be happy additional want someone who loves her daughter and America are allowed to taking care are the very fact that she would consider hiring someone that has not tight relationship with her daughter just showed that it petty selfish he really is your mom your new mailing people got hurt collect her daughter. Would be happy she'll stop her. The Mac this year not willing to do that is. So you're telling her stop listening to all the other groups of women when they say you gotta be a mommy going to be your career woman you gotta be a wife and realists and you're telling her. You. Chose choose one and she did you do nothing. I can still loved her daughter and still beat her daughter's mother and allow her daughter to have another woman who helps build issue initiated left partially MP I chipping occurring here. Why old. So you can do don't bring your personal were hurt artists suffer because she has just policy task. Often have a little ways he's got to pick quarterly emotionally you can't you now righty. You have to if you want a. Rock help because he did not see your daughter you're gonna have guilt for leaving her alone he'll have even more guilt that you fire someone you love. And I'd let let's adult plus a dump on her formulas it's whoever's the the bringing home most of the bait him. It should be the other all right got to decide do you wanna be the rock and emotionally launch could be. Honolulu rockets they want to perceive that I opt eagle wouldn't call you did it. Connie it's hard to be that it's hard to be that emotional role if you're. You're not home to tuchman bad that it makes series. Little things you can't substitute and go data by U hello kitty for when you wake up it's a debit she just needed night that's a bigger saying mean anything. Financial or physical you can handle then so would you choose to do multiple things at once and you know something's gotta you kicked to the curb you have to be over the live without you do and she's not living below she can hang she's like she's seen it slip away and she's like but I still want it's nice. Then quit your job. Says I hair wearing it right. Our own hole I heard there. They are there. Think he can you make your chance if mommy if you are not there should be be mommy that you want to be. Watch makes you feel sorry because he wasn't there are telling women you got a new ball serve. I mean I'm not saying they're wrong. But I think that her work life balance is Spezza is started us it's a skew enough senator daughter called Ben nanny mommy amber that's true which is bizarre zero each local. Yeah I nice. Though I have my son had had an Emmy for her a while and he works for another hit it well. And independent game and you get really attached indicate that he's we're glad that it can't love hurting my front. A month old he did not occur and we are as anti air and. And it seemed so worked because that means if there's that connection then at the same time for the limit on it not being like mama Sharon that. Okay back. Close proximity deliberately didn't get the same time there's still so. Take away like she's she's getting paid to do this is a label mama say crews should be meant for the person they gave birth to you. We know I hear I. The findings secret that the fact that like you don't wanna psychologically how bad. On your child like it very confusing for kids. How numerous people that similar title like you wanna like even if that Karen baker aviation and how like bald mom you mommy but no. They keep it in a pool yeah mommy to them and that's. On how high differentiate and entitled and having something that's not mom amber Eric. Ebit and the Embraer order something and whatever you are color it's going to be easier on the album long term that they know that there is that distinction a good effort. Absolutely it's an easy fix mommy to sit down with ma am the number heard they were never so calling you anti amber yes and that's. Act as though we deal and it works amazingly and it's you know they would rather people as well it is so he has a family that you're working expect moved out of state. And she still population kids and kids are after me and I dollar purse her it and it Sasha. Though it. It's something that seems to work with me and I don't I'm pissed my son Ned. Had more and that I can count this as my my friends everything's isn't since Ellis. Bad as title that I think end. Getting you know a bit but being that close friend of mine like his godmother you know you've already had the effect anyone in my age range at the end do you go. That's I want action action with my bunt hit it close. Personally think she's always appreciated. Courtney. Yeah you guys reasons. I have been a nanny for over twelve years and I can tell you right now it's coming in my guess as thumping at school really fishy with amber actually own that there is Ed. Is that being immersed tying her or allowing her a little girl to thank you bet mommy is only cut and wearing green and kind of bad money hammering entity saying things YE. Money is working really hard Michigan by you toy you only buy you rallying cost you am. Mommy's working hard as well you can have these things around you. And explain that mommy doing other things for this little girl as well. Niece that's so you what did you think Amber's the one blurring a line score at least allowing Miller I'm sure learned. You know why it baby battle on get down talk like vampire. And asked to do you don't feel like ever on the same page as them. Can honestly when it comes down to Yale is in both parents need to feel comfortable about good case giving care to their child. His shaping our child and have one parent doesn't feel okay. And then. I'm sorry that she's got to go out. Escorting as a caregiver you nip that in the bottom third child clicks are calling me hey mummies corny. Guerrilla war. First shore. I can end and I would definitely explain what mommy you're doing and that nannies you are at stake and will. Nanny problem how much and the greens are very hard mommy. Dish he can work and be there for the cat. My score may even call Gordon. Why do so I think he's so easy to say this is the fire this camera girl please don't break a little kid's heart you can't do it right you already allowed this woman in your house and now you allow this moment in your daughter's heart that's mommy ever just fire you. We're pretty Laura. That's. Hi guys who do you each. What can I LaMont who had a chair and my daughter grew up and then became an any what you think college. It harper high appears we're stuff fabulous. I think that's why my daughter was such a great nanny and I got to tell you at the end of the pay it but it small blip in her arraignment if sites you know. Creek and you don't need nannies in near the mob in any end here tomorrow. So I don't understand why should show a trend because it but it's small blip in time. It's easier here is your hair and then their. Yeah and Dominican parents talk to any great nanny why you not to. I mean give me a break. I I agree yeah hopefully we'll be hearing your words it's like this did you call it's like a lot of people are saying and if you if if it's hitting this hard emotionally. The only takes is for you to be there for your kids that's true because is making you feel guilty about not and if you can if you can figure out a way to compartmentalize it then takes Laura's advice and know. Eat it this too shall pass it's yes in a couple years she'll forget mommy amber to be a different one a different when they'll be teenagers anymore matter you re when she gets the age where she tells mom I hate you and what you anymore it sucks it hurts but that it'll pass Xena mom men and now that's it's all while us thank you guys for coming out in droves I know we couldn't get to all of you so you still wanna respond. Hit up the slack currencies FaceBook page.
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