Slacker and Steve - OPP: Death Seeker 5/18

Thursday, May 18th

Our OPP’s husband beat cancer and she is thrilled…but she has a major problem with the way he’s choosing to live his life now. Hear her OPP and give her your advice.


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

And I was so BP is sound and his super. I don't know it's got its its sting but it's kind of scary the same time and we need some of our cancer survivors listening to maybe help us out to the value ice like currency guy. The other guys and have a problem for a PP. My husband was diagnosed with cancer seven months after we got married to any. It was tough for us but we'd like music strongly on any thought it. The cancer is gone for now there's always a chance he could come back so he's adopted the attitude of never taking life for granted again. He's he does almost anything and everything he wants you now which is mostly anything that would give him an adrenaline rush. He's jump out of planes off bridges and buildings raced cars a raft of rivers. While I'm happy he beat cancer. I feel like he's trying to laugh in the face of death now. Okay he says he wants to live life to the fullest was put goes out and does all these and seeing things that could kill women and instant. Plus you can imagine what it's doing to our savings account. I was like him to be around stir fairly and grow old together but it's hard to tell amendment barely survived cancer that he needs to calm down and have less. Suzy has some poor life. Powell is this the kind of mentality people have after beating cancer. What can I do to get him to back it down and stop doing stupid death defying stuff. This is from Charlotte. While. She have. This is such a weird question because it is a marriage and it's a joint thing that. She have any right to tell somebody who looked death in the face still like cool it Baja. You really think so they're married. Now where I don't write visible when she's. It is a partnership. If he's blowing their collective money but it's like. Have you ever heard of anybody doing what he's doing I've heard the people getting diagnosed with cancer and then going out in doing as much as these things that are kind of forget ST yeah but after beating cancer. Ha I've never heard of someone. Who adrenaline rushing I have. Several people in my life right now in varying stages of cancer sites via. End. It's a really weird thing because. I consider myself super empathetic like I can put myself and anybody shoes but I. I don't that's the one make I can't really tee off it must you've been through her have a right you can't really can't yeah it's an all again I understand you know you don't you know don't attract don't even save you exactly here. Arm. And and a dear friend is like doing chemo like three days we chemo radiation and it's going to be it's kind of if she wanted to go crazy when she gets done with Dennis I don't I don't know if anybody could. Could say no. I guess her husband could go. There's my reservations. About what I see you're doing but in the end it's who do you think it's part of do you think once you've faced death once. Did people do it again can I mean I've heard of people who like. Almost died in a plane crash and then they suddenly do let's I'm a little reckless after I almost got shot. When the guy Basel and it'll in the face of the pistol and shot somebody lit a little later on what do you mean by reckless. I started doing crazier things I started going a survivor can do everything and start. Two things happen one is what she's describing where you have a lust for life you're like man who now because. I've always an in car I would do no cancer. As is making a phone call and somebody put us on my face and you're like. It made you realize that death could come at any time she should live your life to the fullest especially growth quickened your instance you found out that person that did that you actually murdered people later on that same day so what's that little nugget. I can see where you probably relate couldn't meet right packed with everything just no restraint so there is that. That's cited eight weeks which is what I think she sees then there's the other side where excite. That's Ken Ken. Where this guy stealing Mike. You can't give me yeah salami do everything I can the last from the face of death because you can't give me. If I beat cancer. That I mind you have a zip line who cares race cars for a short show the it's like OK that's your original question no can do she have. Is it is a kind of goes for her to go to her husband go slow down due to affect everything you're doing is wrong you should be going the opposite way. Well yeah in the event we need to save money Casey comes back seat and then there's that I'm sure wasn't cheap. To beat cancer either fresh and he's going amok with their savings and it's it's Hurst who. But. I don't wanna be a one in the house react to comes back isn't she watched harsh in my here I eat that's touchy. I don't know what to tell Charlotte what I would what would I am thinking is I think we can get advice on how to talk to her husband and stuff like that. I'm curious if there's other cancer survivors. Accident survivors. Eaton near death and what ever any sort of weird survivors they had that. Switch click often your head. They you just started to the extreme reliving everything the extreme or did you back it off to go okay made it illegal little safer and how many tiptoe. Nowhere mice he does little more where I don't loan more while I it's it's an interesting thing that she's going through. The hardest part ninety as you can hear in Stephen art guys' voices we don't we feel like Charlotte. Or are we to step into this person and say don't you dare. You can't walk up to them and go. Socket and a marriage but one what one does or says affects the other when. He has two cents apparently I think there's only one way that she can tell on the stop and that's if she can live with herself. N and you look him in the guy when he if it does come back and he's dying and say. Sorry I didn't let you all that stuff before when you she can live with herself saying that's in him if he does die. Go forth on this that's abundant knowledge he would live the rest of your life. With the what if it comes back cancer survivors which I guess you can't. I know I am I know you can't but I think that she's got to be able to swallow that pill in case it does happen because if she stops and now and it does come back she's never gonna forgive herself for the rest of her life and that's. At at that's. But it what is let's say yes. I wanna start skydiving I wanna start sleeping around outlets are doing all these things all my bucket list and Brad freeware app for a way. And my lesson we somebody can do need those things in my eight. We're fighting cancer and I never get too deep instincts. Why aren't we don't want to fight cancer DA now or DNA. And as a remission. Not be the reason you make decision I think it I think he goes back to the argument that you guys were making earlier whereas if you never lived through it before you don't know what he's going through and what didn't you don't have the same mentality that he has and the same outlook on the lights that he has. I know are we don't to we are we allowed to tell him that his mentality is not safe. Yeah if your wife yeah. That's my argument back to write I've never been there but look at me say on the outside looking in and you've driven a race car jumped out of an airplane zip line and what we deeply sport you're still fallible you could still die. Soffit. I think she's allowed to say stop and if he gets into its if he comes back it's a cancer comebacks. She can't feel guilt over saying. Seal down and chill out we wanna sort of family. Lives real quick. You knew you were never allowed you to motorcycle license because your wife is like I don't know werder we're married we're gonna start a sale we hear a kid have you that's basically her concern is we wanna start of feeling akin have you been adrenaline junkie every other day he's a little these arguments and fighting cancer do I go on my death penalty earned go never act you know motorcycle. How do she is that's. That's technically your Friday but I. You can't I I don't get to make a decision because cancer out there somewhere that's. Wow it live your life like that so where Ryo with this one I I know Iceland's she she hasn't lived through cancer right he had. As the now he's got a death wish in her eyes are sudden death wish these they have to up the adrenaline he's extremely living now we he's defying death on the regular and she wants him to stop. What can she get off. Pilots are the only. Yes yeah I he really thinks. I'm I actually in the same exact situation except for a monument and have been here ten years doctor diagnosed with cancer cup years ago. Also beat it and he isn't. As adventurous as her husband however I am in therapy and I am having issues with my husband had just. New life you know new adjustments and that the best thing to do is talk to your heart that if you're afraid to talk to get beyond that what I'm afraid that the situation. In other scares me. Unfortunately not much you can do about his actions he is ignorant parents look do you want to do. But you aren't you talk to him about it at that want to do my therapist does it should be open to him and talk to him about an touting new York daily. Not necessarily what he's doing but how do you feel about it. OK Helena are you afraid in the back your mind that this new husband of viewers new guy. Part of the new mrs. good goal away from you now. So no action like the only difference between I think in her story is my husband and I were together for ten years. Forty got cancer and he's been really close and I actually. If anything it helped that not help our situation we were extremely began went like I think that the different put her situation they will only to get our short time. My personal life but guys like Eric Lacroix is you know this doesn't cut studio to talk to your husband openly about the situation now affects your life you know I'm not saying divorce or anything like that but that we're gonna think about you know that your husband should be able to pocket. About almost anything even things that scare you just beyond. In the financial part of the salinity can you are gonna tell you blow all our savings doing this stuff from them. Clearly you know blaming him but just talking to him and be honest with Tenet telling him you are concerned about trying to. OK so let's not go should talk finances to a guy that just just didn't you answer the other way out of the Monroe. Nomar dollars and cents. I. And I keep him out of amid Sarah balloon. He beanie he just launched a lights will celebrate his victory you know I mean he's over celebrating you know the cancer victory. Yeah I guys when you think. Man let me tell you outside and out of the military OK in my heart stopped for three minutes. Out of a coma for four days and I live my life to the fullest okay. Every day after that I live my life to look forward when you're from the time you're a person. A lot of those completely different person because you realize what you regret what you missed out on what you could have lost out are you never got to do all the things going your bucket list. So I started doing all of them must start traveling Mora started going into drinking like a sailor and everything else and I met my wife and see like why do you do those critics. And she stopped me in my tracks and honestly I think if the best thing for you because. There's more life than just the adrenaline rush you know there's more to life than just being in the bottle you know you have so many like when you have children it's amazing you know they don't have any children yet. Let them have kids you know. I would say this easy wherever your calls started tonight's viewer all the way team husband. And you're not you're all the way around Charlotte. Because when it comes down to it you know like he barely at all you have. You honor were easing UU instead of other people admiring the peach on the table going I wonder what their tastes like you had peach juice run and after Chan. Like he was your job you you you wanted to you got it. Do you perhaps what you have now than that. Yes any day. I would give up everything from my kids in my wife says that. That's what's important you know like your wife who you almost died but who they're supporting you the entire time. Look lighter side the entire time your wife was no matter what. Your story kind of taught me a lesson why wait until you get cancer why would eat and cellular does everybody does yeah O'Costa right in the there was Serbs living life the right isn't thank you and it's why they the phrase youth is wasted on the young lighten up you think you've got time you've got time you get time and then when you realize you don't have time it's too late April right. It is true way so you you LiveWire young and then when what it is certainly. Achieved what do you stick with their trailer you stick with everything you know what's at that point in your life should be terribly. These are like the fact that you got you went out there ended bucket list stuff he met this amazing woman China brought you back down to earth and you're just as happy. That's awesome yeah are good for you. Reilly well yes he was that's why I. He's doing but it's like drew nobody listened to his wife to be back off which is weird. August confide. Do you not need reasons. Are well I've gotten on that experience and on the experience you know I kept. Com the widows as well and it's portable VCR to the trauma in its day I think you reported a lot of compassion and understanding and he's using this as a coping mechanism. Seemed to lose. No one's suicide. Here's the suicide you try to kill yourself whole damn okay oh god. But but but after you've survived you relate to this guy. Your zest for life jewel mr. adrenaline junkie than you wanna go one bucket list everything. Yeah I mean a lot of like Christian sister ultimately you know drug use I'm just basically any coping mechanism yet a lot of extremism and it was definitely stem mature much. I don't think that experience along you know depression and other things. Which if you wanna let Missouri watch others who brought you back down to earth. A lot of it was just community out there just being around good people and understanding people you know in a good partner. And Turkey. As an artist are you saying. They'd Charlotte this is community and she needs to try to. Tether him she should she be trying to bring him back down even though this is the coping mechanism. And he needs to cope should she be trying to teach him a different way to cope. I I do believe so and brag and I think it needs to be approach your compassion in the same way that they're getting any prediction. It's well and teach it's it's pretty clear that you know it's extremism and sustainable so he's not a thirteenth hole. Jewelry greater extremism their promiscuous promiscuity either drugs and all or do you. I mean cancer revenue change brought it person I am now it's army desolate and LT and I even better but I didn't do it. Until particularly ambitious it's it's damaging their relationships like financially or otherwise its yet. It's a problem. Okay what are you good now yeah. I. June August yeah stick around me on super yeah I mean we need so. Has suffered her look this thing together you would like currency and I sympathize with that they didn't call always talk to do with yes other Afghans. I what do you think. It's. I think that he needs to start joined him on here that adds to our own nor reason why I kept. She should be scared to lift herself and I'm OK so he beat at bat. You can't be scared to Liddy can be scared to hot air right. And OK guess seems to be during achieving an account that's one thing makes you pay your bill to make sure your responsible. Piet. Well one creepy trips shouldn't jump out of a plane for a hundred dollars and Joseph hadn't won and not do it. I do so many great peaking and actually getting ready to go to Alaska and we just a column that. Good for you know what's in Alaska well it's a hidden gem. I think there's a lot of territory but do I usually compared did you have here because the home. Is finite jumped out of a plane for my birthday easier but go right to attract you last played you all spurred a crazy stuff. Given back to what Jim real quick to Steve and I got in the side conversation about this what was your catalyst did you near death experience are you always just said. You only get one shot attests. You know I actually been married and abortion I realize you know I don't have any sort of in holding you back at that and why why not at all. Someone might still land so old. The end of your marriage was your your near death experience a guy you'd like it to guests. Yeah I mean it's one of those things where I was sitting here and I wasn't happy with I would killing sol why not start going headaches. New people and having no experience and then I mean your style and not. Nice road truckers have elapsed yeah we don't cheerleader. This Jonathan player a couple of the almighty god cruise I did so it sounds like this is pretty typical. It's not typical but it's one of the ways. That people who've had a near death experience cope you know. But sheet as a wife she's absolutely allowed to sanity. Yeah. Hello movie I don't don't forget a word go down variety we. Gel it's. Maybe I shouldn't be her reason your having the talks but she's allowed to have the top few tips on how she did have that talk. We're out of time here but there's no time limit over on the slacker and Steve FaceBook page.