Slacker and Steve - OPP: Friend’s Clingy Husband 6/22

Thursday, June 22nd

Julie's best friend passed away. She and her late friend's husband worked through the loss together, but now he won't leave her alone. He is always reminiscing on memories that his wife and Julie had together. She is tired of the constant reminder of her death. How can Julie politely get him to back off?

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Eight. All manner little beauties that death and ambulances. It is it's it's sad but I think it's something other people who have gone through so we're gonna trying to. To find a solution for Julie here Julie. Gary. Julie. 80 yeah on Dario we we we have a technical issue go and Julie. Hello hey tell us what's Conan. I'm okay account my friend actually. Do you think back I'm glad known they're like twenty years. I'm actually have to weigh. About eight market now. And it's you know we did everything together or should mark you can you know like my pitcher like I had a sister and we are so close. Son. It actually was married. And that the conduct at her high end. He hasn't exactly moved on yet then. He kind of in my bugging me like unpaid are quite ill lake. Three airports and today he meant I didn't need me like memory used or are. Post pictures on my wall. Some. And things like you know waiting to lease deal. On meet called me all the time. Eagerly trying to get my husband immediately. Come over to the Collison you know Hamlet in and I think we used to look. And you can't and you don't do that. Word do you do it occasionally and means. I mean I occasionally do but you know I am you know I'm entered therapy in a video electric act and I get the you know. I moved on the had come to a place where I look with that and you know it may make peace with their. And you know just I I don't had to get him to stop because I also want him to sign Matt play and compete. You know in a place where he's OK with that and it just like it hard for me to go back to that they could and all the time. Do you get I mean if you guys are like sisters. He misses his wife. So knowing all yeah I understand that I just I didn't try to figure out a way to do. Explained to him that you know. I can't think about it every day otherwise I wouldn't be able to make peace attacked. While and if you're still friends and you said he comes over and things are with you guys knowing that embodies. He wants and he won it anyway we're only. Create the with the memory that we had its rapidly once knew one thing you know. You're always talking about the pac. What do you read and I am I know you wanna move mom does that mean you don't ever want to talk to him again I mean it feels like well not. All your seals or do you just for you to move on your wanna pretend they seized on to what are you. Or or what no. Oh right at the clinic had given how Arab. I mean he called me. I mean like yesterday he called me I'll look by the time you know. It is good to talk about to talk about her and things we did and you know look again like it sits on stage like every time I don't think I competed. And. You know his therapist you aren't your thorough as is he your kid is he needs to find. His own or some how do you tell somebody. Whose greed being who you guys were it was a full review she's gonna like I'm still stuck on his angle of lights. I didn't die so why are you don't you can't shun me but I understand your angle like I'm not sure knew if you would talk about. New stuff so don't be so median clinging clinging yeah he's is well yeah he knows your computer parent. I'm sorry literature but he knows you went through therapy or muted actually quite easy just OK I went through therapy in this help you should try out. I don't know how. Larry picky so sensitive he had obviously it does kind of the understandable that you don't make and I understand where he's coming from under trying to figure it awaited Q echoed that you know it doesn't come off. And in a bad play I guess I just want can I make it quite. You cut and then unarmed and umbilical cord on somebody. Who just lost their wife sold. My age he you're you're his only lifeline right now it's not here but he he's he's using you as his. He's used you up he act. Yeah it's time to. Cut the cord and it's an ugly thing to say but it's like can we talk about grieving things before words like when should you go back to work when you sir have a relations and when should you. But whenever. You gotta look at this gang go like yeah I mean we've we have our life over here now working now with our allies for you kind of need you mean by trying to wage. To move on with from your dead wife once again you keep it solid he says you can't tell a grieving person this is time limit after a year you have to go right. I hate on well but some. Let's try to give you some advice I don't know. I know there's only people don't you agreeing processor I think maybe we're just to get pointers on line. Things to say because I don't know that there's a hardened fasting words like. I am this book that explains. He's clinging to your best or vice best friend you on hang on Julie florist Julie being kind of silly little insensitive okay now. Competed Quaid is a good friend my muscles were both so afraid to say we don't tell we are known to the audit sites. She needs. Yeah it's only been a year for hit it it's here it's eight months is that's his son was his spouse I understand they were best he's. They had there's tiny she is just feels like she's already so ready to move on it's like after eight months. But it's still go to dinner with just do it. But it. It does he's a constant reminder I guess for her too much so it's either there or couple or nothing we we we wanna hang out with you is this what it kind of feels like there was he when he was no longer. And the group the mirror anymore or apple. Oh we will come over as long as we talk about every American ninja warrior and not talk about. Ashley yeah all tornado sirens are actually but what do you have a comment I noon so it's like shifts our rights to Julie needs. Her best her herb deceased best friend's husband. Too bad. Down stop reminding her of the passing of his wife slash her best friend moving in the past him but how do you do that when somebody just lost a wife only eight months ago you're supposed to be a good friend you aren't. So if you've been through anything like this Julie. Could use your help I'm Erin and I what do you think. No and I'm glad that I'm not that lady friends I know that. What are you are matters worse for you this. Dad did so insensitive and until I think I mean he's better off if she gets out cotton jumped. Like she did rarely leave him alone achieved in doubt about it a person in my diet alone hasn't a year that is you know. Like you bet your best bid but that would they were all may seem broad and in the light art. You know it sounds like it would not a best friend out of convened. That would be no maybe the only French it what it sounds like NG. Dilation doesn't really care. You bring zero point dude where. Do you Warner. It's not. I always whenever just gets involved I go back to Shaw shank redemption redemption in its like you did does you have been. Would you be easy diet and I'm not gonna try to force. Ashley's. Wind solar. To get busy living in. But Juli is done she's she's getting busy living in this guy keeps trying to drag her back I I do we are seeing in the she's not been a good friend dude. How much of a good friend how long does she have to agree this person. Mean. If. He's gonna aggrieved are probably happened laden they were married. OK so she is clearly he's trying to drag her. In its act and she's like I love your judo but I Buddha with the therapy among kind of movement trying to get past and you keep go every tiny calls it's like. Remember when Ashley did this room and should that come over him to make meal but actually used to make just. You see my post on FaceBook the picture you and actually act like Coachella it's like it's it's never ending. If I don't I don't deal you fight a car accident and he just kept putting up pictures of my car might damage strange. I'm trying to forget and not forget the wrong word boo boo. Move move past it move all. On yeah I mean. He Erin you understand that right I mean. She sees it. I don't you know. 45 FaceBook post that gay doesn't seem outrageous now how many times are we on FaceBook every single day you know. Trouble you know in the ten Y need it be time today and she dug sedated guy. And Larry you know a picture of them at my best friend I'd like someone sending you pictures every day. You know I would never want to forget my best friend because I truly love my butt scratched and I Weis and after eight month I would still be greed and overnight that spread two years later I would still be grieving. And she's our teacher noticed her months to me like pulled out and already you know China that's horror of being too I like need I didn't know Julie looks like looks at Nancy's husband like why couldn't venue instead I was. Actually my true are you a little David Carter and we appreciate it. I'm Shonn. Yeah I wouldn't you. Think that it aren't even the bad policy. Might get that everyone will create get Italy. Very nice sweet very possibly very sweetly. And are angry at. I had to create Billick I have to green and bite you on bringing that up it's in during might not pass. So and also can maybe play him. Other avenues that won't help Tim grieve at a level he needs to create that. Now I see is we don't all have to grieve the way he is I mean the last and we talked to won't add. Exactly as long as hard as the same way with T I mean my greedy I'm listening to voice mails one elite that's true number I think it is it safe. I just it just so it feels weird to go to somebody's grieving go pay pay freeze over there it. No but I'm not that I'm not a knock leaks and things that helped her may be quite simply sharing that inevitable conversation of now I get it and I'll eat it like it didn't help me and and that kind of opened the door are hurt itself. Do you understand how much I put into the ensure that might lie and you constantly bringing the top is that. Sender might healing and I support you and should depart and be all well. And so maybe a little bit different angle of just a simple conversation about how she. Honestly feeling. Healthy and just don't look at it different way and each different Abbott and help you because everyone grief differently. Thank you for the call Sean and I appreciate it I mean yeah you can't obviously whom we summarize we summarize to it late. I don't know too harshly and no stop. Driven on me and it's the somehow looked Julie asked again this I hear the husband of her best friend I ever she's got to get him to grieve. Over the air on his own without dragging her down and it there it is Heather. Yeah Shiite what do you think. I'm first of all. But first speaking of someone that would go to this first year at the heart of our first here the first everything. Is new and different and not and it that way. First Christmas first Earth Day every every little same article July. Oh number not planning a vacation you know. That trust. All different and you know an option in the third grade differently. And her she can't compare her losing Hearst. You know sister like that spratt. To losing your life. He's not only laughter that's trying to get why people are just every day just presidents. And a future yes she had thought or future she still has her husband it's true she still has that person to call every day each about the little triangle. And secondly he doesn't think has earned second and that's hurt probably make until closer cheered at least cut the laws are. Yeah I still think she's being an insensitive beef. I can't sanction piano little. Lawrence sensitive pension should be made it absolutely makes project that would get you know go to great count or. She was friends with the husband she wasn't tight friends for twenty years with the husband right. It is forcing it. And it's still it's not the same thing it's not a future that aren't it has. So did you ask somebody that allowed you to rely on them did you somebody lights Julie did you could call the book excerpt that was. Not a. I had a few people I had you know a couple of my best girlfriend and I don't have really not a brother. You know I could call at 2 o'clock in the morning currently. And he was fantastic. Did you ever feel like you were over staying your welcome with him. Com. You know I think debt that would everybody and there were you I just went laughs are. On the during degrading process that were trying to do we had church quite a long time because they didn't wanna hear about it all the time they want to. The one. That's just a part of that to me that just put the casualty of the situation. Tipped it's nobody's fault nobody to blame. And that's what. I just before we let you go do you blame Juli for this. Order I mean. I think it says. I mean get a little thicker skin and and. It cannot you know think about it's not the same situation she like seats feeling that not close to what he's feeling. Did you send down you know the little hard on me. So maybe. There's someone else you can talk to wants all but it still wanna be in your life. Thank you for sharing was this other really do appreciate it and sorry for your loss armed Charlemagne. Yeah yeah and I am so you've been through this as well. I'm proud. I have lost my husband and I tell you I don't remember that first six months. Really but your mind is no ma. There. Oh no we're losing you are either. Candidate resilience late breaker you're good gas so he would this for six months and someone else reassess. I wouldn't I had a few I would be created to cut it Eton blue. Feel better need to me I reached out to people that he worked together with because I kicks your bat. We are you right. At best and they're the ones that are still wins mean and the ones that blocked the way when he asked. More power key I don't need you in my life and you know why there is in their own book that says I have to. Quicker reading in eight months weary here I'm still grieving and it still. Irritates me when somebody does not have demons aren't. I'm working on route but it takes a long time especially. When you wish him ready for a lot on how anxious and Greenleaf. Sure why you aren't you got to start over Eric and how do you view that. Without support from people who are supposed to love BO. But charming then when you said those people who didn't support you good riddance to buy. Using Julie is that person Juli is one of those people from your life you Julie is not a good friend. Well I'll tell you right to me deal if it can't ask friend. Julie. Oscar curse the outlook. Which he then called yen and actually each song wanna speak what act and it Lugar stumbles it yeah right let delete. Winner is that connection and granite he's probably struggling and need an extra vote for the first two years guaranteed to us. He's he's struggling and I was with him in the back I really do there's nothing. Worse Stanley thinks about certain how they're not being your legs let's turn that probably works for act we create a light we create at. That. You know charming seriously and we appreciate your call and and and you sharing with us and and sorry for your loss Leo we appreciate it bomb. Here's around four by we can keep going. There's like ten more people who've lost their their significant other the field and I I I guess I just forget how many people. Healthcare kindred relate to pass lost there is the love of their life and have to like deal with this Julie basically what everybody's telling him. Year you either help this person or Europe crappy for it they're just just leave him be then just get out of his life yeah if you if you if you really feel that strongly then you need to remove yourself and don't look I'm just a terrible per because cinema terrible friend don't call me anymore. I'm more advice for Juli or tell us we're wrong about it. Hit us up on the soccer and Steve FaceBook page.