Slacker and Steve - OPP: Silent Treatment Husband 6/27

Tuesday, June 27th

Sophia's husband acts really immature when they get into a fight. He gets pouty and gives her the silent treatment for days. The last argument, he ran to his mom's house and stayed the night there. How does she get him to talk through things and work it out rather than shut down and act like a child? 


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Staying on the whereas China fringe benefits of marriage today somehow no but I'm afraid I'm there. Were you afraid of I'm afraid I'm going to be called out on the side party admitted that I do this a little bit and my home I don't do it a lot Boca and so is it doesn't seem healthy. Let's not okay yeah but it's. So CEO. Yeah idea of what's gone only view maybe we can help. And I can't sell my husband and I have been made spirit she is now and basically he is to really enrich your likes. Tighter like it like. What a child like we'll get into really really small site like pretty people when just earlier this week we're paying about. What have protection and you up and like a race he ran off with mother patsy and talk to me for today owns he's just. Yeah he gets really get like very very howdy can he give me a cold shoulder and he just eat it like turn off to shut down. So. Always do you believe or dizzy because I definitely don't do that dizzy sometimes just. To be the silent treatment at home. Yeah I mean I would say I would think majority of the Miami Heat stays. You stayed home and it ignores me but this time he can or cannot do it moms are pretty close now anyway I'm kind of wondering like. I don't know Ole like how can get him to grow up to and also is this like a common problem for other married couples like I don't know tentative. I have a little bit too I can I can ask you some. Questions and I don't know if you wanna be honest about it do you think your clean tighter. I'm be like. All RD year like I get I get I'm OK if I'm happy to carry and I get angry if I get variant that. But I will always like keep trying to populate my why do you see it's really. What do you think silence comes after somebody if you're if you brow beat somebody. That's where silence comes and didn't like people who employ bad tactics are tired I was talking to unite and listening. Yeah. All you add texture that's shared I don't pay it and sometimes it's definitely merit didn't like sometimes and I'm being there like kind of go on for it plans. I feel like genuinely. On my side of the argument has. You know I happily agreed to an inch he did and I'm not been interning and held just built just shut down even if I'm right edge shut down. Umps what happens next so when he comes home from. His mother's house who is there they sit down at a table and I was wrong here I do you know in the following ways how. How does he is completely eat it he completely there's no resolution like he completely each killing women and pretend like nothing happened. I try to get and like pot humor about it yeah it's like pretend like nothing happened at all. While all. That's so unhealthy. But in it and I was dead al-Qaeda titanium and has I don't know I know we can you just already said it doesn't sought help okay. In in. In a good way or a bad way is I mean I know we didn't get closure and bad drives me nuts I'm a person who will who's nights. So what does it least NASA say we're sorry or at least connected because I just don't want it to happen again and the guys. We identified a problem so the next time we start to see the signs we can stop it but. He's he's your relationship. OK afterward I mean. I mean everything. It's the only time it's not OK and obviously when ordered by Ng and then when he at ignoring the everything else. Is great everything else that's fine like where we're dead or otherwise. Happy never giving closure after these incidents are really able to like follow up worth talking about your feelings and stuff. Use move on are happy again the day I guess that's fine man. I'm not happy about it takes you know I'll I guess I just don't. Like I can't try asking you know being worried pocket news story like try to work these things then again you just like are really talking about it. And now it's over for hands so she go so when he goes into silent treatment. He's like to tuning on it he works it out themselves. And then which I think it might be all positive things even though it sounds really immature whatever the problem is. If he's if he's come to some sort of solution he never. He never shares that we knew who he is so I think is just thought I'd like oh that's how does that I was over that I coded no impasse that now you. Have. Have to walk around women waiting for the other shoe to drop it like I never resolution on the dinner run aids or lower the warm and he yeah. Pretty meant such exactly and I don't want their like I don't know pictures comments are a couple of record rather severe and you know married or not and you're like comment our people as people. Experience with before like but that's why hasn't been able huge. You know faster and change things. Yeah Sophia despite cold his breath and then put his fingers in his years. Before like you can sign well if you decide. She doesn't know I'm not be not quite encouraging Garrett. It just sounds so eight year old or soon as amateurs who were my age sometimes it's just. You guys squeegee the opposites communication we always gonna communicate but I don't try to Cyprus half solve. We showed a total I don't eat you're dealing with someone like Sophia a site area telling them right. Yeah it's not a hundred try to say all I wanted to ask you was about isn't but I. And then you just know it's I'm showed okay yeah on the Suzanne would you like him. And still like I have a full I have my a you know my ex spy administered ten minute so Greek English Aaron Aaron got there and you know like it's. Iron lunch. Like Al Al you know about Adam my trip them cannot be ready to enter the problem and when I'm ready to talk he'd gone. 'cause he's supposed to be when you're emotionally ready he's got to automatically turn the same switch on. A do you get to that's absurd right. Yeah yeah I can't I mean I guess that's what I get the problem is still even Arctic there's like two is not hockey and he. It now it was a mum should move. And there frenzy on you behind your back problem where they are you are you're you're you're you're arguing super unhealthy in my opinion but I don't know how that breaks and you do just don't dove tail the way you guys try to resolve issues Z. Inner dialogue see you outer Diallo and an ending when you're ready to get more serious he's already gone and then when he's overrated. You want one more step I. I know that other people go to this so why you just hang tight and we're gonna run. We're putting on hold and not talk to you for a horrible. She lives that's okay. Yeah I think it's around is John now I yeah its it's. I mean usually when my case you go to your love languages dumb idea I pestered about compounds like uh oh here's the thing I don't wanna go off on intangible Riley the love languages I'm kind of all of them. Please excuse your other apparent physical touch floor yeah he's done freedom of Gallup data I don't know it's now want the I want all of that. So. Yeah I choose you more than physically yet the policy don't actions no attack. There's no you don't want my guess is if you must include which is what image. It's just I don't I just speak a lot of languages like unloved console eight yeah there argue languages suck yes this is so. If you can help with the silent treatment and the disappearing act. Sophie is going through it. After being married a couple years off and she needs your help on how to fight more fair Taylor and. Are. Aimed at hit. Nokia president and actually you're silent treatment person. That you believe are important. Currently permits the woman in really what I pray for our own. He didn't really really. That I would immediately regret the next morning and I don't want my president is their outlook we're gonna act for Robert. Because I was here. Oh we're. Well so you're silent treatment is sort of a self imposed solitary confinement Kenneth Mozilla doing a senior. League but does it. And it. It's what part of Earl Carter yearns for a burn them to realize our I didn't really didn't really eat it feet below. Other note yeah when I'm ready to talk about it I go to home the scoop on the computer and I'm going to. Sadly at least you go back in get resolution these two never get that. Yeah and then you're there during the lady. He picked out about the right without remote. Okay or without her and I'm. I again she seems lovely. But she she was quick to admit that she's quick tempers involved and used for ethnicity as an excuse for AB volatile sites. You know maybe I'm finally ready to talk about it. I don't wanna wake of beast again I just don't fly Austin Campbell girl I don't deal we just put her to bed and now on one of flair I have come to grips with what happened. And I am it's late for me to come to UN go. Can reason the dinner thing escalated so quickly was as you said. That's right here we really but now I'm just you're right there are wayward drive or flight yeah. Vol that's unhealthy it's it's not an hour later this is all kind of trivial and a lot of people are blown a sub message wise and this guy tenor whatever. They both kind of are it's the resolution very deep sound really unhealthy ways to push through their problems and their problems are just piling up behind them. Thank you for the Conti learned. I Tonya. Yes what do you think. I have been married twelve years and I have a terrible temporary job a lot better than the most part LAM. And kicked by two minutes later the really important we're talking out but otherwise we move on we don't want Graham actually. Belittle her right. OK so you guys but I have an understanding. We're both you know mentally we're not gonna get you so you have 9000 little arguments with zero closure. I don't have you been the other twelve news works for you guys then. I don't let you know got a little book or your friend Burt but we know each other earth can't be here. Long but no it was expressed. OK but no little part of you is afraid that all those little un resolved things are stacked in a corner corner much like a supporter would do. And at some point you know we have an an argument over to retain the wall siege. Or use and it's gonna be like. You do and it's smooth it's gonna be in an avalanche you like that's not a. You know can learn and get that boiling over point that we don't we talked earlier I got into it we're no longer angry about all these things which pocket dot plane over combat. Post release you go we re address it. Yeah recently it again to that point yeah. Didn't get into a boiling over point gap and bring out but it denied it something little like oh you know decree and usually also and whatever. I would go sage that's her legacy is really played out I don't I don't know yet this is a natural it's gonna dusty realize that dusty green do you notice is dirty. They do literally never looks right news. And now we're done talk and sit and thank you Tonya. Hiked seven. Guy who do you think. I think that it's better today that they just keep fighting the way they're doing I mean why ruin it by eighty you know. Changing it after me and my girl that's that's all we elect I'd pull away all the time you want to get into right away by everything that I would stay right away it would just horror or make you so much worse. Oh you're like so you have Daniel I pulled away I don't have an inning horrible to say I don't really I don't like being me you I don't seems weird tonight in do you mean highlights. I don't have anything stored up to save the earth it's neat. Is this this is something that husband wife have to figure route as you go through real time it's only here's how are argue the here's how might failure so you're yet you septa now they both know how they argue that they never discussed it in how do need. How cash deal with the act faster yes. Exactly like why he I just go into immediately turn the I have to take them I'm here over the initial. Deal. If she knows that she's used it yet. But do you eventually unlike. Sophie is husband do you eventually addresses and give some thought. Belittle me absolutely they are part of that whole thing are saying like I am they shouldn't not learned. I'm saying why trying to immediately change like that how you are. You you know India together if I don't get my way right now and there are she wanted this right away even call we appreciate it Lorraine. Yeah we think. I'm well what I am hearing it out of pattern that really typical couple commissioner there have been attacked normal sport Kabul he's particular radio were black. I'm but it's really very time. It'll what it's like to me is that she'd get her tumor in the relationship and he's there with trawler. You know oath. Are you counselor something original do a lot of counseling with the. I've gone to school Flores. I'm not practicing all bulk firm idea of course the couple. Addresses this pattern. So okay pursuers. Can these two are compatible with the and there are some very survivor and after this way. Absolutely so much every relationship there's a particular with two aren't just enough and on its more extreme and other. I'm and usually it's our way out kind of protecting ourselves. I would imagine at. And that there's some thing that struck her in her way and he doesn't want to talk about it they'll probably make Harris steel. At certain ways that probably impact this spook other relationship in her life. So it's important for her that he talked to a car and when he can't do that because he and his only way out for tech in him shall. Could apparently triggered something in handling she'd come to try and talk about it. Com. How can they have bitterly that he. The more she pursues the barn and you holes which makes or pursue even more. And it's the ladies super unhealthy. So we can do RA. Often it it helps. Each person can identify what I don't remember how loud speaker you know when people talk about it with our. Com and an unidentified that's for themselves separate legal at that obviously on healing and happened so we're Delaware you know. Am. So. I have to and it what's helpful is for them to see other English or talk about the end up and I had an argument. Yeah I mean that's sticky everyone always waits till thank you now I have another six things I ever told you or is there are we got married now. Let the Lorraine tell you another question about the other dynamic in this whole thing. Easy didn't audited. They just he. When he's done when he's done withdrawing. She doesn't offer her closure late Heath it's. She pretends as if there wasn't even if that sounds like a very strange. Tactic to be like no we're good now it's like were you I'd be doing right do we arm wrestled with it I have read so well how. How great it. It's still part I don't. Are you still withdraw and Luca is not a Luke and interact OK. But it had that conversation come. And I betcha she started pursuing it and sue Melissa GE C ticking after congregation that they were having bus or. Yeah just eight. If they don't get some counseling or something they're they're pretty thank you I don't I don't like saying this but like I stand up if they're doomed right it's this is a ton. Didn't they get their game particularly when they don't want to lose I don't think it helped by. I was still on showtime and had a conversation. Well then it. That's like part one. And then also the setting up a candlelight we deal with the marking its and we can increase if they bring it on act out about it. In order get in touch you have to understand what's going on for them to do like yes he did it all when he walked it had nothing to do. We do me personally it. Great he's feeling this way because there's something else that happens. Had to putt and I kind of state that's ready to eat talk about. Horry knew he didn't do you. You really helped me appreciate a coffin yeah. I think the other thing he's got to stop doing withdrawing his gradient. But I'm running back Jim go to mom stats that really just for her one way or sending us messages or leg that part is tomorrow what are you do you are you guys how did you hear Rainier moneyweek he's creature negro yup. On its advice for these people I mean clearly it seems a pattern a lot of you are living in their books you read. Or you wanna recommend therapist whatever it is. We'll take all your suggestions over on the slacker and Steve FaceBook page.