Slacker and Steve - OPP: Son-In-Law Asking for Help 3/8

Tuesday, March 8th

Abbeys’ daughter and son-in-law seem to be having problems. He has asked Abbey for help to convince her daughter to work on things because he feels that she does not love him anymore. Abbey really likes them together but doesn’t know if it her place to interfere. Should Abbey help her son-in-law out? Or should she stay out of it?


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Steve's eyes and I think Sidney marriage is important but I think. Sometimes it takes a village the Coen no test. Yeah made it. Papa why. And I via she. 89 days since. By some law wants me to help I would his marriage and I don't know what to do heal my daughter have been having problems for awhile now. He says he's tried to turn things around and nothing seems to be working he says that he thinks she might not love him anymore. All I'm surprised and sad to hear that I don't know what to do. He seems desperate to save things and they're really don't want them to split. But I'm not sure it's my place to interfere in their marriage he wants me to talk to my daughter and try to convince her to stay. Do you think I should get involved. This is from abbey. Pretending pretend for a moment am that you think marriage is sacred institution except that I thought I surrender to suspend your kid I believe I'll try them. Jack. If if it's really something that matters. And he's not a did generates he's touching honor he's not. A violent person he's just a man who loves his life. And mom doesn't know for certain that she doesn't love him it's just the feeling that. He has conveyed. Shouldn't she try to help I mean that's her mom she trusts her mom more than anybody named and shows are better the sites are best a year whatever. You know I don't know this but I wonder if the guy probably. I wouldn't be surprised if he went to the best you as well is that usually which you do first is go to the best friend and just kind of sounding board are asked questions and put her in the middle and that's you use and I was getting out of business I think. I wouldn't wanna drag anybody in doing them but if I wore a drag anybody I would probably drank family before I would drive the dusty. Because. I feel like. Best he wouldn't be on your side. Meaning in that and I just feel like Stanley wants to see the marriage. Succeed Stanley tends to be like mom and dad are still married. It's like to go to them and go I'm trying to save my marriage and I'm I'm running out of options and we've tried. Was tried counseling we tried everything and now I'm just asking you. I can't imagine being this guy to go tell her mom that would be I tore my mother in law in I don't know that I can ask her for help on on bad. Situation. I'd be weird thing you can aside it's a guy that's just trying to save his marriage man he's in and do whatever he can't do it reach out to anybody can and that it's awkward that would be very awkward going to the mother in law but. If you're richer. Wit's end in this is that all you've got to play. And then maybe why. Not why wouldn't you exhaust every I mean I I know kicked you out there is not a tis guy. But when I first heard I was like that's cool man fix your own damn near Italy it's Europe grownups you don't. I don't go to my parents for anything now anymore I go to my parents and I. I try to help them with things but I don't I don't drag my parents or my wife's parents in any debt Saxon which tells me that this guy's at the end of his rope. Then like it's the more I thought I don't like but. He's doing whatever and I think in the end dude I think you wouldn't you would do whatever it took to. And you know. Should it just that's a really. It's it's that's awkwardly so there's still eating tell him it's insights. I really really hard for me to come to aid to my mother in law and say. I'm failing the test I can't fix this can you help me skinny I can put you in the middle of this whole situation mother in law. And you just look kind of pathetic when knew I. I do I do I suffer. I don't care what other people think but I also trying to never looked pathetic can only ask you this let's say this was you when your wife and you went to her mother. And hurt in your wife's eyes which she take that as almighty god he's trying just do everything he can or. He looks pathetic which way would you the white that's what I'm afraid it is so it looks for a fact. It all depends on whether or not she's actually checked out OK she started a doubt he yes when did that those that she's even more checked out. Yeah nothing's worse. Then. If you're trying to save a relationship in your perceived as desperate. How many times have you stay I know you don't stay with anybody really but once somebody gets. That smell of desperation on them. It's really unattractive nobody likes that person in your life whether it's a friend or family member or. Yeah it's just it reeks of soul as a parent I wanna say this. I'm struggling because my my kids are so young. But I'm I'm trying to think ahead to light what is my son Noah fast forward when he years. His wife comes to me in says. Don't know his party in too much or whatever I can you help me talked to him. I feel like I would I mean I feel like. She's asking me as the parent to help guide my son in the right direction I'm not gonna do her bidding I'm not her little puppet master. But if she's telling east if anybody came up and send your son is doing something wrong. I would investigate it and I would probably. Try to help that has to learn that. So. I'm thinking of the from at least point of view now. I think she should get involved. It's so we told you your daughter was shoplifting. You wouldn't automatically sushi shoplifting but you'd go to war and go what's your did you shoplift would be a full hearing about a buck. Am not saying getting divorces like shoplifting but. Her husband her son in law Abby son in laws said. She's pulling away from me I can't stop it we you at least talk to. I see that's you I need and it is is Zambia like this husband and asked him also keep in mind. Abby might not be on his side MB is advocate maybe he'll push his or her daughter in to just get rid of those hi I. I again I'm reading completely between the lines but I would say if Abby is torn she must like they got okay she lets see you work yet. I mean if she if she thought he was a degenerate or a cheater or get rid of this guy she went in and wrote us using easy Damon asks I laughed in his face and I am my daughter revenue and me tomorrow and I marriages over there I feel like she at least wants him a chance. I I think we need in order to express her daughter yeah and we keep missing the other than yeah exactly. Does anybody have there in las help them save their marriage. Has anybody. Asked there and mas to save the marriage or has you as a mother in law father had you got is. But it's this weird saving somebody else's marriage EU do you feel like it's one of those things its hands off. But even you said like the best friend had even the best friend it's been asked again about. Is it a good thing we get involved as a friend or is there a better thing to look at everybody know we're friends and if I stick my nose in this business. I would be too involved in every drill but sale we're always gonna have to back the sale only soul. I know so he kept asking Abby just stepped focus it's we are. I. I mean bottom line is Abby is reached out to us the most unlikely sources to find out if she she helped save her daughter's marriage. At the request of her son in law. Would you talk word could June have you renewed your health. Haley's. Yeah guys. Would. You currently. Ted pocket or are not like on the hurt I knew I'd be app. I have to try and out what's going on right now her daughter's side because you may not. We know the whole story obviously and and that's how it felt like and also having Dave in the white stylish and I. Are in the air it's really -- Europe and English who you really need to try darker and now that I have been blades got. Doing anything China and it. She needed just packed. I know her daughter or or what garner are. So we did did your mom come in top tier then. Aunt and my mom there. The district not credited the primary and the first place. And then I got a big shot. You. I told you so slash you need that expense to my marriage. You know. Are making it very religious totally blank bags you get married luncheon that's it. Stay kinks you know. Still yeah. I was it would it would really awkward to you Asia and then I had I lost a lot of respect sir my ex husband. By the time yeah count. You didn't lose respect for your mom for her getting involved and saying I told you so and all things. I would definitely know I would say mom. Can I shall like what I didn't get content and the talk in like a normal human being I knew what was going on climate change. It is what it does not enjoy having a little RO lake. Yeah he stopped showering daily. Intel on the crush as people think. She is she is citing her agenda she was I do major bad you have to stats. Yeah sure. All right so if you if you were just gonna say one word Abby yes or no get involved don't get involved you've saved due yes. I don't. And probably don't straight ask your daughter old I ish if everything that attacked or like a mom would do normally choose to honor shuts barely get old budgets. After she need to talk about anything else thank you for these icu he's some anti. Yeah I. Who do you think. I am I adding it's out of coming on the beach myself or my act as an -- are my mother I feel like Fred they're not hurting Al. I am Madonna might add Kurt you most like it people are why maybe I act are talking about. It out of and let her daughter. Other apparently. When you say your ex approached her mom that's how you felt then you felt like they were ganging up on new. I know why why how they've been talking about bad that I got a bit Al Al add. All but now my mother there is I had and an approach are all in me. Like I'm a bad. Back in her about that should have been talking about. It back I just think it's bad and all opt out our daughter out there are. I don't think it was cool your mail and it was gonna willing to do anything to save his marriage to keep you guys together to the point re went to your room. You have to get on the there weren't the only thing that I think I can only have their route that you can you can't I recommending therapy you can drive back many other routes that by going straight to their parent aren't he can recommend or may each start here rob got Barack and it keeps. Her kill her mom not. Go to her mom tiger. Boca wants thank you silicon Samantha. Ericsson. Yeah I'm what do you think. I think Aaron she check after bringing to market their daughter. I went through a similar situation and where my husband is cheating on each. So the first strike I called was my mother and mocked. And she can't hear you hold on him you told his mom. I totally told. And in what she. She backers suns player or jurists. It's a large you can't believe you and me at first I think. I I was totally crane mansion called him and he admitted that. And the and sheets and she took my I think she is by age and you wanna Elam you can cover that with actual help you do whatever is needed to use. She did ask me to keep my time before remaining deficient. He did end up saving your marriage or not saving it. It truly admit that saving our marriage and we let me happier now. Why home. Okay he needed to see that he wasn't just fighting with you as fighting this whole family. Who says okay that's that's pretty cool. I it's I mean I think your initial reasons are reaching out to her was not to save your marriage but more to punish him for now I'm faithful little bastard. By could you. Allied noted government gonna tell my mom to my mom had eight and straight down like that I have just mom and. Max. And they even learn ya Rihanna. I got me. So what did something that really eat it can't hurt me because. I am IQ. You know reached out to my father cannot cannot only mean Dave my marriage that kids hate I had and try to consults. Ku within the military Burt. Easier than the so called blitz drug and alcohol abuse then it just had I until plane aware it was uncontrollable and. I had tried reaching out myself but I ain't. There is nothing that I can do in. Need anyone really clicked in England I'm glad that they itself. Aaron Baddeley and a military and it's really the only trick and it spat. Understand it why he would. Been through and so I felt that it would just the only present I can help me and got laid out a little towns you know when you were human. I'm not dogged because. I mean it would sell bad and you know we were expecting a baby and you know I didn't wanna get. There'll everything Elaine that we worked for and so I you know I didn't really try to get out of jail. And everything he helped and everything worked scooter. Today he reached out Dan I'm not a regulatory and being inept slowly but surely got better after I mean. I mean I feel like he needed guy and he appreciated that I retract his dad to talk to. He didn't feel gang don't Bonn or they betrayed by his Stanley he felt like it was a good thank. I felt more higher. End up behind them Biden he honestly then his bad because. I would getting so frustrated with him and get so angry that. I wouldn't no longer being helpful so he really did appreciate everything that his dad did for him. You ground my husband. You get him wow thank you don't call it I am and it works should tell you I'm floored by so far he's how many different people have used this time I was like. This is a really interesting way to try to save your marriage but are so wonderful people who've done a lot of people at their wit's end trying to say you don't learn they would just seem weird that I I to me I would call anybody I don't I would call counts of holocaust stranger I would never think of calling. My wife's parents exit. Candy. Guy you are this guy is arm what do you think. Well I did that that was my mother my sister or mom and things a little bit recuperated from a woman and I would put pardon. And ask is they actually encouraged me to people don't. Stanley. Thinks it will keep your side over here is. Yeah. It's been a bit you might beautiful weather. He would like disconnect there he would have been a father. You seem supportive of me. So there's no rather than them getting involved they told you balance. Using an older son. Yes my concern. You eventually talked to him and it it's beeping better in the short term that would have really wish you wouldn't donate to encourage him to get. Go to therapy. Because no matter how much I can go derby he refuses to go and so we keep following you through it being where he's just disconnected and so involved with work that you forget that. The front and are there. I didn't go I have to keep bringing it up repeatedly. He's following up his pillow. You stayed with him through throughout and even EMI did help in this sister in law helped Todd to women and or your mother in love at night now. Did you just document in a cycle. Big she needs to encourage. Her daughter to go to Serbia we have not only her daughter is really motivated through the end of marriage anymore. Raised its season not according to its own eyes this she doesn't love him anymore you know if that's the case I'm sorry dude who is Abbey's son in law you do everything you could add he's had a meal time you know her best friends it is so. I love you anymore that said these sun. She's done you've done at least if you look at the mother in law that's something that may be. And different perspective wolf we incur wake up and be great while it is an issue and we need to go feed somebody or. If could just push her over the edge. Thank you for the call Tandy beyond good luck. That's or more years at the end. I I you guys leave the. So basically out of this situation with my X while we each. Glad I'm deeply in love after only two weeks but knowing each other and most are actually not in that country and when he came to the states. To well it would mean we got very very scary very quickly and in this scenario I actually went grandmother actor Martin Lawrence. Arms RD you know are in love with Canada I said he was a great guy and when I culture that I wasn't entirely comfortable. With the relationship she conventional to steal attempt. And because I love my mother so much and I really respect her. A little and I ended up only candles or shall not touched on it was the worst decision and some aren't a lot of tension between a moon. You sell like you need to give it another shot because your mother earth this siege. Were Maine with all the great advice. Told you tale. Exactly I think the problem snow being a mother you really do you have that's how I position of power we exploit you wanna do with Patrick Aaron. And the problem what she didn't see all the little issues like backing and I try to explain it even at each right. Arm as she stepped in at like and eat their eat current argument edges. She could never get the full pick. Cheryl would not want to you do it really. Thank you for the call Vivian hey here's a thing and in those days tell us a lot of people on the phones are calling the one thing if Abby gets involved. She should. Just if she's the most she's going to be 100% on her daughter's side she got to make sure she's not being abused us likes it to the bottom of like what because. Other women who've been in this situation much like video and the guy he's already abusing her so he's using the psychological tactic to turn his mom against you true. Says this woman feels like she's got nowhere to turn out. I hope that's not what's happening here but if you have resource is or more advice. We'll take it all on the same place to store dot com slash a slacker and Steve sands.