Slacker and Steve - OPP: Soul Crusher Addiction 7/18

Tuesday, July 18th

Candy fell head over heels for a guy. Things were great for a long time and then he became very demeaning. They broke things off when he moved away...but now he's back and in her life again doing the same tricks. She's attracted to him and can't stop seeing him even though she knows it's not healthy. Why is she having such a hard time cutting him out of her life? How does she get rid of him?


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Ever so. Obvious answer currencies of BP is just stuff but no one seems to be able to do that I know is so weird we need women who figured out how to just stopped and men. To help this oh PPI slacker NC ER IE I'm 29 and have my life together. I don't house and car have a good career in the social life. Five years ago I met a guy that was spontaneous and adventurous and make. Instantly fell forum he knows my deepest secrets and has seen me through some really dark times in my life. Things are great for a long time and then everything changed. He became very demeaning starting to make me feel bad about myself all the time. You know taking a job by the state we ended ended things in I knew it was for the better. He was gone for three years and we're barely talked and all that time. Well a few months ago he message Meehan said he was coming back. I dated a few other men while he was gone I told myself I wasn't gonna let him back into my life. But then as soon as he got back we were hang out again he was up to the same old tricks I know it's not healthy but I cannot stay away from him. I feel like a moth attracted to a flame. I'm smarter than this but I'm also very attracted to him fired myself wanting to be with him. I don't know why I can't stop it but I Kiet. Why do this to myself why can I just caught a lot of my life. Has anyone else has been in a situation like this any advice would be great. This is from candy. Obviously notre real name pure and doesn't want to be embarrassed by what's going on there Britannia I figured the hot hole a hole right on us. While someone you know the girl on talking all yeah I couldn't stop she was like. Just like there she is an addiction Qaeda guess yes he did you finally got to go away from her for awhile when you realize. OK I get a ten message and I'm like your back to your sucked back here. Hi all I can think about is how great it was when it was so. Happy yes it was sold jets she still soft Diebler is. So easily you know and it was borderline abusive dude you I mean. She got physical with me a couple times but it was more about the psychological abuse of just. I would love just think you you and I were taught not to air it's like women do this all the time and now I think about it it's neck and mean. We all do it we where we're. We're at but it. We have this thing we're attracted to things that can hurt us it's LH. You were thinking more emotionally you've been logic you kick logic to the curb is if you think you Buehrle I'm never going back to a lot of we've actually seen it is an emotionally you know what the likes there's something there that I constantly needs he would hit me she wouldn't. There were times aren't in the ocean where she was horror now. HD NM it just a gut wrenching like sitting there going why won't she answer my cult like. All of that stuff. Why why you're looking back I don't know. I mean I don't know those the physical relations was it was very good good fun nominal entrance guy that's huge lie to you you still were abused you used to. I know and that's I don't know what can these dealers can I don't see. She doesn't say other then the beginning of their relationship when he was spontaneous. An adventurous. She doesn't say what she keeps going back to writing don't match that if you turn into kind of a did you feel bad about yourself all the time see up. Yeah dude but she's attracted and I don't want it but little this situation. But how many times we talked about. Actual. Abusive men. And the women who love them and they like they've been physically hurt even put in the hospital we personally have known people like this. And they go back to Doug I N and they get NYN. There's none of us you know I love. Did he answer because I've never understood it I think most people don't understand that the people in the situation maybe they can't explain it either you've dated more women then I I've always been a long term relationships you've gone through. And do you find that a lot of women are are. Thinking about somebody in their past I know you think that. Everyone has that one got away but do you find it a lot of them women who think about the woman got away from it's a guy who wasn't good for now yeah asks why you guys don't know and they're usually with guys that are not east's. And respectful and do everything right if their heads are still back in the past with that other dude. So because you'll think you deserve to be treated with respect I don't. And then that convenience I don't soon or is it gives all the I think I think you might have hit it right there it's like we all feel like. We deserve a little bit of punishment somehow some way right and I in she's like I said Kenny here this this story is a lot of people story. We need women broken this cycle. I mean bottom line is. I broke decide not cycle I'm dude I started sleeping with a lot of people and tell I got I got my brain away from it. OK who's she did Michigan fight I forgot that the two were some sort of on the fifteens. Like I wish we had one of those volatile breakups at a time where something was going pretty good with somebody else and I was like OK I saw we saw the light. I was able to make it stick. Bush and not answer the phone it's like when you see it on the caller ID you're like him. I'm going back ten. But I it was at a good it was a good spot where I was like you broke free. But you had to give up something spectacular. To break free didn't you never found quite that again. But what she ate it. It's a little I would say I was romanticizing. It just it wasn't as good on as I thought it was built on animal waste from rationalize yeah. I I believed it was the most amazing thing in the world at times be a little DS series. I I don't quit I was kind of thinking about this when I was three and it is like to meet this is like. This guy that she keeps going back to you is like a TV show cliff hanger like she never knows what's coming next it's always different and it's in my not what we want you what she expected but it's like it's out of the blue it's gonna surprise or so on and so forth. And the nice guy thing that Steve was just talking about to meet up to watch in the same episode of friends over and over and over and old who. Sunrise is never a good surprise it's not put it you do you never know what's around the corner and I. Yeah. What are. Hopefully no I mean it's like yeah it's like you know that your favorite character is gonna get killed off what you how. Have to go and watch just to make sure now you know what I mean it's it's just to me it's like they're nice guys seeing is a boring rut and it's the same thing over and over in this guy. Provides that cliff hanger that edge that she doesn't get the other guy and here's the horrifying thing. And tell. Now I completely grab her exact she's never gonna go for next Friday nights this socks there is we have we are going to learn today how to break the site hoot I. Because I can't policing grind how I got away there are other than just haven't announced. Relations are are people at the right time. But candy wants she wrote us so she's ready. She wants to break free she wants to stop getting burned by this guy. So let's let's figure out you know whats its whose closure on this if you've got no waves from the one. Who hurts you the most. Help her find the way or does she have to just keep going. Until she hits rock bottom there is just so gross candy has a soul crushing addiction. To a dude in she needs your help to get away. Sean. I. Personal experience and it goes up. It out why are right when not in it accurately and Schuyler thirty fives so wasn't. Unlike treat expedition and on and I learned a lot. Accurate account going over it. I don't know it's manipulate it they get inside your head and named QB you that you're not you're less than you are. So why do you also. Know he didn't eat well but it's not like. Like when you're getting tour relationship and everything has to wonder what your in the honeymoon period a year. We work together every part ever get me and then I went so I'm surrounded by. Trauma he never would I be imminent happened again and milk and then it happened and it happened and I could take an actor. And incumbent spreading out into its history not mind. But it took the two years to just go but this is not okay I am not a punching bag nor gone. I look the father of my child more complicated and hanging out on an additional. Burden it's. It secret thing touched briefly want to breaker street. Gotta make sure she likes to do everything getting its phone number. It support supported the worst thing in in most important thing because she didn't do it the worst I went get to hear that are linked to purchase your relationship. Seeing him this. And I never I would never in about a relationship that part yet it didn't work out but they weren't on that. Justin has thirty shock when I get that. I hate links in I don't wanna make money this can she doesn't say he ever hitter but in in I don't wanna make you feel we're looking right at us. So meat like if I were a woman and I truly do I didn't stay with women probably more than I should learn. Somebody hits me one time peace yeah. How you act is guys in the sales of recruiting him. You know I'll sit because of your personality at step out of the crap that. Yeah I'm gonna cut you on one minute and then on to tell you you're a soccer that. And these really aren't are warming to rationalize it they're in your mind spending. Did not mean it and then you go a million other places it is Spartan but again allowed him and then they focus too much on a lot. Because everyone have a natural to speak to people loved. It's hard to let go of when you happen at any blood and it goes it's such a roller coaster of emotion. But when it's so. Like that. You hold on to the target blood I don't buy a guy you would a woman. Sean you know that I train will be really general because I don't know restore right you're right and so I'm turning to be general because I really want her to understand that issue you ready to reach out so. She needs to change. It's not and that changed it by Dana watching changer I remember. Remote his own amber and I know someone else who would in a similar situation. Which is turning academics not only am. Respond and how come Charlie I think you hit the nail on the head when you said it's women get emotional in the think about the emotions that are there enough and if they forget about the logic I do let emotions take over the logic is logic would dictate. You can't go up trying to meet kids be allowed her to try to make it or not necessarily be overly emotional app Google slightly wants to be allowed to. And when you have adverse to not having it makes it a little more irrational. A guy can just can't just say I love you he's got to show and then these guys. Not only. Stretch again that I just look at a divorce statistics. Let them play they get married everything it laden and people just want the easy way out when it's not what they think. Particularly a bug that it's someone who truly don't think treat you like according and it's not reciprocate it became you have to treat him like that total. It'll work and it's important that you have to put in the chart. You logical. Thing thank you thank you for the call Sean and we do appreciate it I take lands. Guy but he thank. All he looked a part of this and I had to break the blue monster and nobody who I only went back. So I finally just hope to learn. As being true. And just eagle looks aren't actually hit I really. Look at the my decision both light choked up here and leave symmetrical. So you need someone to validate your choice to leave or to its stock two person. My friend my print elevate it won't let I'll eat. The meat you eat eat and stole. Or. You Monaro is always an idea we did the idea let's try to get other people on your teens but Mendez you hear a not to compare this exciting but it's night. I wanna lose weight. If you just try to take it on yourself it's horrible yes like accountability to go to weigh ins and your friends are like there you are about to order a supersize meal and they go. Dude attire China. You don't have seen people you respect especially parents and family your parents like you you Conan again if you don't we saw the reaction like oh snap her out of this like. Our own. Fat guys what are you. So I'm a child of divorce I'm so I want my parents go to wrap on early awful relations that's been my idol when it. I'm yeah so I just upload the pattern of my parents are alive or not my my ILE even the straight break the cycle so I didn't. Without an angle I like count what are you going didn't think pattern. So I went in and on and off relationship we literally broke up the time. It's yeah and net minority aren't I common armor Arabic or do you think I. Think they don't there. It. Well you know. But it's so simple. To say we did her saying that Al loud finely turn the light bulb on for you didn't actually make a difference. No actually did it on are really on and I I that principle. Or anybody. Ever again. Not even 12 chance it's like Bernie wants peace. I was dropping people left and right about three years. Good news is that more healthy or just a different kind of unhealthy. I'm not look. I I figured out that I wasn't letting people that can't clean them out and I just aren't too similar again. Aren't actually I'm engaged married and I'm everything worked out the play each like it. How how many just one. And this person knows you screw up again. Look at my track record I will launch into the streets so fast your head will stand. And that's cool and that's selling an ultimatum to him you're just let them know this is so I am now this is where I welcome. I gave you one more second chance and had given anybody in a letter says so you better make it count absolutely that's cool. So yeah say it's then the turning point for you was just saying don't gives this person another chance. Exactly ever at the end of the deserving to chant his iron in Egypt that they recruiting them out like I am going to change our that he got banged. I do you believe that effect at what order by. There are so many people who weren't true think that they deserved another. Pilot so I can't combat it. Well good for you you've flown you finally found the guy you were waiting for me you found. I found and I hope he never crosses and they do Brokaw Logan the kid but as. Comes close to where to go home ansari it seems like it's this simple answers like you just stop or don't give them. But when you're in the city they they sound totally rational to you when I right now we went out in the situation. We're not only do it takes a special person who took Kirk's bad DD mom. I do Perkins twice as crazy overall out of she's seeing and it guys on wall we're 28. Our guy we. So I can get on the figure out Aaron relationship. There was emotionally I'm currently it could mean. And since they won't like it didn't start out like. We started out of the great relationship and so you'd. Only that hole that it scalable accurate. Like you hold on and skill but they weren't a flick that can be that way again. Just how to work or are just how to do something they'll eat like and see how would you call it not that I even he's not my story out Q what was there at Atlantic Ali could be got belt. Hardly got. It's a total principal yes you're chasing something and I still was amazing one time and zionism or are going to be narrow and again no. And what really helped me get out of it and eight acting for a divorce but the even want it to about like packing meat packing and and I had to get. He brought send nonjudgmental trend and I get. Promise kept them that any kind he called me or excuse me I would call them star that they could talk me out alleged. And I do it even easier for me to keep a comment that someone outspent I want to keep my culture works for me. None race that's that's what I was so I don't know with the diet dang it's nice it's the town until it's like I can let myself down marathon letting. This counselor down or my mom now acts. Idea exactly. Do you. It has been a friend that she knows that's not gonna judge her Alter how wet cheeks peeling at bat trying they're kind of what I call the trend and all the got everyone back. And it had to be done it helps saying that he had to be somebody and you look at that like hold me accountable and they know you can do you wanna pumping battered you really or are you gonna. And like we'll be no nonsense but no BS Whitney. And and dot Battelle to then eventually I got what record it ignorant on my own and I would you know tell them I. I court I don't call and then I got my racquet blockage a number and it opened. In your free. Got a good for you not to. Add another layer so that you also had probably be sober. Lights champion of the influence of any damages that's when you breakdown it's like you drunk texture like oh you yup you fall back and see you gotta stay Lucy and clear and tell your threes from the bonds mostly true. Yeah and you'll be alcoholic by yacht that would definitely make Eli eight even when diet and it would make it in with a friend like even when I like it at yet I eat of the it wasn't gonna judge me because I can be our nominee and I. I and aren't it would really take into account third in the relative to trend but it's it's got to be something that you L like guilt 100. Whilst they can call Kate I'm good at the bottom line is most people say unique you can't do locked you out you support system did your support system. And and two it's if you get rid of his number. I mean you know you can go on your phone and say if I get a text on this person doing the Georgian is huge huge victory is you can. Yourself do that little programming note goes a long way you'd be free already but for us I'm really. If he had any more pro tips on getting rid of the soul crushing addictive. Significant other we loved your more about them on the sly currencies FaceBook and it's.