Slacker and Steve - OPP: Wasted 6 Years 9/6

Tuesday, September 6th

Danielle and her 37-year-old boyfriend have been together for six years and they have two kids together. During the years, he has accomplished nothing to help her and their kids. All he does is play video games and drink beer. She feels stuck and wants a change. Should she throw her six year relationship away or can she motivate her boyfriend to be a real man? 
00:17:04

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Selector and Steve. Ball. I feel bad for this woman you know and I think she already knows the right answer but I think she just needs you guys to help her could. Make the right decisions die if you guys. I'm 27 and have a 37 year old boyfriend that I've been I've been with for six years we have two kids together and I'm lost with my life right now. Since we've been together he hasn't done any thing. There's no goals he stays up all hours of the night drinking beer and playing video games and we still live in an apartment that's too small for us. I feel like he's never going to man up and take care of the things he needs to. It's already hard enough with how much are working just to make ends meet. I don't think I could do with the kids by myself though. I just feel stock. And this isn't what I pictured for my life. Do I just admit that they wasted six years and throw it all away for nothing. What do why do I know I get them to start acting like he re you'll my AM. This is from Danielle and how does that make you feel old Danielle I mean you back the wrong horse so you can keep continue to illuminate me amber your. Bad choices A yes but when you get out along time ago and I think she like a lot of women thought. It's like just stay a little longer if I have one kid with them if I have sacking kids some things eventually gonna. Slipped that responsibility switch on in this gated. Plus with women to the resigning he stayed longer than they showed us is that means that he and admits that you were wrong or you need to do. What women feel guilty. And they feel bad yet to tell leave early stage of his admitting a failure exactly. She's solid she's done everything on her and that she can do. There's a tenure I would I would almost believe this if it were the other way around gifts you were 27. And still playing video games have since 37 years old he's still isn't didn't is. Who winning groove rule that's exactly why is seeing why does that not happen. Being right. And then you always brought up a good point. You have to push men into decisions like to become a fuzz I think he'll push a lot and then yes you get a push a lot of guys so QE sitter Haiti. You know are you shouldn't have to be pushing but just to get what you want. You shouldn't push in this guy. Having two kids should have been enough for him go like snap out of better. Knowing me you are eagle leave let's let's pretend you have no soul and you don't care. About the little child laying in front of user needs diapers pants milk. All of those things. Legally you're financially responsible for a human being tell they're in to finish right so at least do them basic legal minimum order if for some them. I don't know what to do that I mean this is one of those OPPs were we're all looking at it going. Who doesn't know the right answer is there anybody that doesn't already know the answer is I did it you've put six years into it and it sucks to say. You wasted those six years. You see ways because your teachers your two kids. Yeah. Women do that all the time when there are bad relationship. I hate that guy Qaeda may domain but I can't really hate the relationship totally because they got two beautiful wonderful children out of it. Which is it is same for her. I don't I know money can't tell for the escalates. There are times. I eat eat eat let's pretend this is an investment like you've set. There's a time in your life where you you you but. I just a stock means something at a hundred dollars up. Like a share men and two years later he's down to eighty dollars and you say to yourself. Well I got to ride it telling gets back up there M hmm. Two years later it's down to sixty and you say to yourself I've got to ride at least goes back into eighty I'd love to see. Two years later stone forty at a certain point. You'll have to cut your losses you or your going to lose everything there it is good analogy you lose everything she's. He's losing everybody to slow so now she senior don't six years and if I just sing a little longer she may slip and this may be a hundred dollar stock again. Easy ever going to be honored our stock that's a tough one would seem not. If you star started playing video games drink and by year renowned and has no goals now. But see like c'mon honey it's just supportive for days ago. Doing. I think that's what she's been hoping for because would you ladies when your time to take a life mate and build the life and family sort of fairly. Do you pick the guy that stole examining goal I don't forget it's that was years ago when you're younger. You don't have any goals but if you're gonna make this leap that you got to make sure the guy you're woken up with. Has some others go on foreign. Has like a Golisano meetings in something so there have to be established they got to have drive and these. But the arrow on his compass is pointing in guys don't shoot out of so she invested six years didn't get any return on our investment. Now what how here's the thing again I feel like into somebody thinks she should stay with this guy will take you first. What she needs now as. This is a woman who's clearly. Screwed she's. She's got two kids she knows she can't make ends meet by herself with those two kids when you get child support this guy braves cannot. So at this point. She needs us to empower her in my opinion. She wants a. To empower her to be able to leave this cash. Just how hard is that it's not impossible right and it's not impossible but she even said I don't know PP you just reiterated that the the idea we had two kids we can be leaving with them it's probably not possible. And she said the thing Shaq I didn't Bruce. Well she says the men have suffered she says do like just admit that I wasted six years so that seems to be one of her stumbling blocks. He's having to tell her friends and tell her mom and tell everybody. I backed the wrong horse yes for six years in May and now I need to get. I need to stop but I don't know how to stop because I'm so intertwined. With him now because of the two kids. And maybe he doesn't. Contribute a ton financially but it's not the media doesn't much Akins a bunch but it's enough that she can survive. So to walk away from it puts her at a level below zero. Well I odd way I see Tennessee is she's a re there kind of a little bit Jimmy's not really there are to be helping and I really think she's practically a single mom anyway. Practically and all the way I think that's I think saying we need a staff take this water coolers. But when doorstep feels like I think she needs some people who took that. That stepped up despite. It's scary is helped her she's a dumb I'm screwed without this moves are you know but somebody beat. Empowered this woman who's got a 37 year old video game playing and drinking and worthless boyfriend and Mary are you ask your kids I don't that's on I'm getting old fashioned but is not on her a little bit though. Did she didn't force the issue that a word but then you do you were very refined ride along this ride for six years not seeing the reigning Ernie promise in the future and now you want it off yeah. What if you can help Danielle if you think she should ride this out a little longer if you written an investment. After six years making it look like he's gonna go nowhere does it paid off she did your Mac but if not. Help her find the strength to walk away from six years of her life Kim if yeah I. I say hey you leave either get him to leave or you eat. For eleven years. I have actually checked me in my street at I only got a job making ten dollars an hour but I did and I. I'm much better off by sound a great man we've got. She's children together as well now and. Energy it has placed at six years and twenty year on the row minimum and Kirk. Do you bring did you feel can you hear the pain in her voice where she's like. Where she doesn't wanna let go because this six is already invested in it's it's admitting that you stay yield at six years of your life. It took to help we all hell I need a child's belt the first time they like all over when they're learning a lot. It's learning to lock a way that she needs to alert you need to learn to sort of walk away just picture that chat that you tell everybody else. He would never going to be anymore no why he. He had the best today that he is ever going to be. That. I believe that is about that one week HM once they are the best they are. You are never any better. He's not putting anything to that relationship. Zero other than helping her children pretty nasty out and our relationship. What's that old line the power in the relationship resides with the person who cares the least. I don't think I ever heard that but it's absolutely true kinda afraid. Who are right. And in everything and just what are they spun he's sucking everything out of Turk. And give you get nothing her match. Jim what do you do when your relationship but you do all the normal things things like kick his ass off the couch or does give him. Motivated nurse every. He's right every day every 18 to motivate am. And usually motivated one day. It's like why am waged he might try to get my light to my children why. Amanda did did your children why is B sample of what are husband and partner should be. That's what you think husband and partner. Should be sir your grandchildren. And state it you want your grandchildren. You have no rate Chara. Damn week each and that's the example you're setting strip out. We thank you for the call him Jim congratulations on didn't do notice but if you if you probably know the past sixty right but let's just pretend we all night sixty. Six years is 10% of her life it's like to admit that I never stopped. Present our life's walk is a hard till the swallows it like it is I don't I can't. I don't want to see and I made a mistake for 10% in my life it's hard to Alexa. Hi I'm not a pill to swallow but it's not that hard it will go down I would dare I. I had I didn't marriage and I actually have one child so it wasn't. His biological child but that's the only father that she know how I'm. They're not controlling money wise so I had to leave let's do not seeing. Literally not signals and we know I went to a homeless shelter with my child to streamline. And away from their parents moved. There was no future no going anywhere west ham. You know it very abusive and bad situation and so I don't read much public panic couldn't see my future like that aaron's. I wanted to give her more than I could offer. You're you were just as scared as Danielle as we bring you took steps plunger like I'm gonna lose everything but it's gonna be worth it. Are you feel like you are losing everything but what you get an inch is your spirit. The initial shall be OK I don't know she can hear me right now putts she will be okay it will be slang no matter what happens to stay strong. You do what's right consultant kids you don't do what's right or anybody else that's the only thing that matters. And it's. You should a couple of late universe will come true and didn't give her what she needs it might be tasks I had to eat some food banks food for a year after last let. It's okay we and that Howell. My hands are shaking that in how to better placed how I met a fabulous guys who are an extremely in my last it and my daughter doesn't eat there's no Larry every day issued a happy child and. What I wanna turn her 100 seat belts strong independent woman and. It scared results and sixty judge Ronald and I can attack and I feel so much better now it would tell going to let it get grilled piece sorry and. While students for you freelancing. Let's zoom zoom out thank you for the costs while. While the DCI series she had to go to homeless shelter so shaken things dry out it's only just a Daniels senior don't know I don't go to home it's too much yes much pride that she's gonna stay with his. I said AdWords there known forever Jordan. Yeah I what do you think. I think she's got an issue got to get out of there I mean I've played a lot of video games now I'm entirely colonies but I know a lot of dads. What it's like. Some support ahead that are in their forties that played video game and they're great father's great husband Beno how to. How they know how to. How to be a parent if they're kidney something they're willing to step away doesn't matter what they're doing what they gain had been put. It down and they go to do with the responsibility that the lineups for. I think they're. But the first thought is oh my god I just. It's held at the so much time and effort went into their heads and I'm gonna let it go by it so we batter optional note down the road to be like. This should know this guy's not ready to commit I think I think she'd be better off if she did was able to lock. So you kind of hold her responsible to assist we can't just dump on that guy right arm. Do I do think responsibility should be shared because experience. ELA no marriage is not saying you know you kind of know you get to know someone and I think last time can and I do think we shared the guy definitely I think takes the ball commit leg. She should've known led what he was signing up for especially when kids number one Kaymer. A glowing tip number two leg but didn't click for you. By which he also doesn't suit also count control of her curl life goes both responsibility and now she has the freedom to say this is no longer what I want. Thank you for the call Jordan I just hope that all you guys calling in and hopefully you'll be doing this basically is well and a little bit late. Give her the strange to maybe have to go to a shelter there are probably it's probably what she's gonna have to do. Hands. And I'm not a reason to. I want to have been enrolled similar situation and I am right I can use your expression back around part in my case it is or you're gonna want to end. It kept me out in the early and without an orderly legal requirement Ellen nearly a screws. And admit that there's been a huge amount of the way. I didn't and when did everything. Exactly and later we're happy. So but still this was like instead of this happening in a native ending we run going off into the sunset. This is the light the light bulb turned on which you leaving him. We can't begin another thread where I am do you realize after four years the need for threatening him and telling you got it either you gotta do that that. I can't actually out. You know I really thing about the delicate you know uncooked. We do you know would it is sure CNET 88 I don't wanna keep putting the blame on Danielle but like Danielle you. You got pregnant yes it's a two way street but then he knew he wasn't coming around with John. He didn't take steps to avoid getting pregnant a second time then you digest two kids you don't. Crack the whip and make Jim McGee you you handled the kids. What do you think a guy who's lazy wants to play video games is somebody's door all across form why should be stopped why would he start ordering. We cannot I want it to England eager eager to move unless you're right it's. And think they're gonna get better are you gonna move almost relied collapse in the wake up either nation we. She's moving on either way moving on is around you right now do you cause and yeah I thought about that we can I am not it might be he's he's. All right are you kidding me it's. Yeah I. It's yet again. You guys were trying to push her over the hump we I think we all agreed that leaving mr. as the right thing to do. But if you have more words mean you have resource is where she can stay Louisiana we'll take it also go find you a slacker and Steve FaceBook page.
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